Posted by If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a mom of two energetic little boys, it’s this: kids never get tired of silly jokes — especially during Halloween season.
The minute the pumpkins come out and the spooky pajamas hit the laundry rotation, my boys start asking for Halloween jokes (and start trying to make up their own!).
So in the spirit of the spooky season, I’ve rounded up 131 of the best Halloween jokes for kids.
These funny Halloween jokes have it all from cute ghost jokes, silly vampire jokes, mummy jokes, witch jokes, and even a few knock-knock jokes.
They are all kid-friendly and fun to read aloud.
So where might you use these clean Halloween jokes?
Here are some ideas:
- Lunchbox notes
- Classroom parties
- Family game night
- Trick-or-treat giggles
- Halloween cards
- Kids’ Halloween parties
- Social media captions
- Fall family fun
Now, grab some candy corn and get ready to laugh.
Related posts:
Funny Halloween Jokes for Kids
1. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with.
2. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
I scream.
3. Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin.
4. What room does a ghost avoid?
The living room.
5. Why did the vampire get a job?
He wanted to make a little extra blood money.
6. What’s a mummy’s favorite kind of music?
Wrap music.
7. Why don’t witches wear flat hats?
Because there’s no point to them.
8. What do monsters eat for dessert?
Ice scream.
9. Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
Because he was coffin.
10. What kind of dog does Dracula own?
A bloodhound.
Cute Ghost Jokes for Kids
11. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurry?
Spooktacles.
12. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Day-scare centers.
13. What’s a ghost’s favorite ride?
A roller-ghoster.
14. Why did the ghost bring a backpack to the haunted house?
Because he wanted to carry all his boo-ks!
15. What do ghosts put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
16. What do you call a ghost who tells lies?
A fib-bergeist.
17. Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.
18. What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?
Boo-berries.
19. What do ghosts like to read?
Boo-ks.
20. What’s a ghost’s favorite game?
Hide-and-shriek.
Witch Jokes Kids Will Love
21. What’s a witch’s favorite school subject?
Spelling.
22. Why did the witch ride her broom to school?
She lost her ghoul bus pass.
23. What kind of makeup do witches wear?
Mas-scare-a.
24. Why was the little witch so good at math?
She knew all the trick questions.
25. What’s a witch’s favorite candy?
Her-she’s bars.
26. Why do witches fly on brooms?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
27. What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.
28. Why did the witch become a comedian?
She had wicked timing.
29. What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray.
30. Why did the witch get detention?
She was stirring up trouble.
Skeleton Jokes for Halloween
31. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
32. What instrument do skeletons play?
The trom-bone.
33. Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
34. What do skeletons order at restaurants?
Spare ribs.
35. Why was the skeleton lonely?
He had no body.
36. What do skeletons say before eating?
Bone appetit.
37. Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
38. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room?
The emergency room.
39. Why didn’t the skeleton laugh?
Nothing tickled his funny bone.
40. What kind of candy do skeletons love?
Jawbreakers.
Vampire Jokes for Kids
41. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Neck-tarines.
42. Why did the vampire read the newspaper?
He heard it had great circulation.
43. What’s Dracula’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
44. Why do vampires seem sick?
Because they’re always coffin.
45. What kind of boat does Dracula sail?
A blood vessel.
46. What’s a vampire’s favorite pet?
A bat.
47. Why did the vampire go to art school?
To learn how to draw blood.
48. What do vampires use to style their hair?
Scare spray.
49. Why don’t vampires like garlic bread?
Too much bite back.
50. What do baby vampires take when they’re sick?
Coffin drops.
Mummy Jokes for Kids
51. Why are mummies great friends?
They’re really wrapped up in you.
52. What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music?
Wrap.
53. Why did the mummy stay home?
He was all wound up.
54. What do mummies like on Halloween night?
Wrap battles.
55. Why are mummies terrible at relaxing?
They’re too tense.
56. What kind of candy do mummies eat?
Wrap snacks.
57. Why did the mummy fail vacation?
He couldn’t unwind.
58. What do you call a mummy teacher?
A tutor-khamun.
59. Why did the mummy go to therapy?
Too many emotional layers.
60. Why did the mummy become a detective?
Because he was great at unwrapping mysteries!
Pumpkin Jokes for Kids
61. Why was the pumpkin so confident?
It had a lot of guts.
62. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash.
63. Why did the pumpkin sit outside?
It wanted some fresh gourd air.
64. What do pumpkins say at the gym?
Let’s get smashed.
65. Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid?
It had no guts left.
66. What do pumpkins use to fix things?
A pumpkin patch.
67. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?
Pulp fiction.
68. Why are pumpkins bad at arguments?
They always lose their temper.
69. What did the pumpkin say to the pie?
You bake me crazy.
70. Why did the pumpkin cross the road?
To spice things up.
Silly Monster Jokes
71. What’s a monster’s favorite snack?
Monster munch.
72. Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
He wanted a light snack.
73. What’s green and always points north?
A mon-stirrer compass.
74. Why did the monster fail cooking class?
He kept goblin everything up.
75. Why did the monster bring a pencil to dinner?
Because he heard they were serving brainstorming ideas!
76. Why did the zombie stay home?
He felt rotten.
77. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal?
Rice Creepies.
78. Why are monsters messy eaters?
They goblin everything.
79. What kind of streets do zombies like?
Dead ends.
80. What’s a zombie’s favorite bean?
A human bean.
Halloween Knock Knock Jokes
81.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch one of you ate all the Halloween candy?
82.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry — it’s just Halloween!
83.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Frank.
Frank who?
Frank-enstein, of course!
84.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door?
85.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Candy.
Candy who?
Candy believe it’s already Halloween?
86.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ivana.
Ivana who?
Ivana piece of candy!
87.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ghost.
Ghost who?
Ghost your hands before dinner!
88.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you excited for trick-or-treating?
89.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Bat.
Bat who?
Bat to the future!
90.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yes, they do!
Corny Halloween Dad Jokes
91. What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Vein-illa.
92. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
93. What do birds say on Halloween?
Trick or tweet.
94. Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
95. What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack?
Bone chips.
96. Why did the monster bring toilet paper?
Because he was a party pooper.
97. What’s a ghost’s favorite candy?
Boo bubble gum.
98. Why did Dracula become vegetarian?
Steak made him nervous.
99. What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo jeans.
100. Why was the broom late?
It swept in.
More Halloween Jokes for Kids
101. What’s a haunted chicken called?
A poultry-geist.
102. Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
Because of bat breath.
103. What do ghosts drink in summer?
Ghoul-aid.
104. What’s a witch’s favorite ride at the fair?
The scary-go-round.
105. What kind of monster loves dancing?
The boogieman.
106. Why do black cats make great singers?
They’re very mew-sical.
107. What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
Bamboo.
108. What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday candy?
Suckers.
109. Why did the zombie go to school?
He wanted to improve his dead-ucation.
110. What kind of monster tells the best jokes?
A funny bone monster.
Short Halloween Jokes for Kids
111. Boo-yah!
112. Creepin’ it real.
113. Witch better have my candy.
114. Ghouls just wanna have fun.
115. Eat, drink, and be scary.
116. Fangs for the memories.
117. Resting witch face.
118. Too cute to spook.
119. Trick or tequila… for the parents.
120. Happy Howl-oween!
Bonus Halloween Jokes
121. Why did the candy corn go to school?
To become a smartie.
122. Why did the bat break up with his girlfriend?
She was driving him batty.
123. What’s a werewolf’s favorite subject?
Hairy-tage.
124. Why did Dracula become a gardener?
Because he was really good at raising things from the dead.
125. Why did the ghost go to the party?
For the boos.
126. What’s a skeleton’s favorite holiday?
Hollow-ween.
127. Why did the witch go to the beach?
To work on her tan-talizing spells.
128. What do little trees say on Halloween?
Twig or treat.
129. Why don’t ghosts like rain?
It dampens their spirits.
130. What’s a vampire’s favorite candy?
Anything with a good filling.
131. Why do kids love Halloween so much?
Because it’s the one night parents actually encourage taking candy from strangers.
Final Thoughts on These Halloween Jokes for Kids
Having this big list of Halloween jokes ready to go during October is such an easy way to make ordinary moments during the spooky season feel fun.
I hope your kids thought these clean Halloween jokes were as funny as mine do!
Tell these jokes at dinner, slip one into a lunchbox, and get ready to hear your kids dramatically retell them for the millionth time (and possibly even past Halloween!)
Be sure to bookmark or pin this list of Halloween jokes for kids so you have plenty of laughs ready for classroom parties, family nights, pumpkin patch visits, and trick-or-treating adventures.
And if you’re brave enough…
…let your kids test these jokes on the neighbors while collecting candy!