Posted by Becoming a first time mom comes with so many questions.
When I had my firstborn, I know I felt like I was relying just on my instincts (and Google) to care for my new baby.
Two kids and five years later, I’ve come to realize that most of parenting you just learn as you go.
But thankfully there’s another resource that I find super valuable: other moms.
Whether it’s friends, sisters, our own mothers or observing strangers with their kids in the grocery store, we can learn a lot from other moms.
And today I want to share with you the best advice I’ve learned from other moms that have benefited both myself and my children greatly.
Advice For New Mom On Baby Sleep
If you’re a new mom, you’re already experiencing sleep deprivation like never before.
The first year is incredibly hard in that respect.
I have been there twice and can honestly say that the advice to start working on creating independent sleep habits when our babies were 6 months old was the single BEST. THING. WE. EVER. DID.
Both of my kids have slept through the night in their own rooms every night since age one (with the exception of illness or the occasional nightmare, of course).
If you’re planning on co-sleeping for years with your little one that’s ok too. I just knew that wasn’t for me.
And I found it LIFE CHANGING when my babies could put themselves to sleep without my help and sleep all night.
If you want to learn more about creating these independent sleep habits, I’ve written about how I did it in this post here.
Advice For New Mom On Traveling
If you have the opportunity to travel while your child is a baby, please do it.
It only gets more “trying” and expensive as they get bigger.
Because once they hit 2 years old, not only do you have to buy them a seat on the airplane, but there’s a lot more planning and forethought that goes into traveling.
Entertainment. Activities. And. So. Much. Food.
When they’re infants they snooze on the airplane, only drink milk and you still get to have your own agenda (for the most part anyway).
Plus, they take lots of naps!
I loved traveling with our firstborn when he was a baby. We took him to San Diego, San Francisco, Maui and Cabo San Lucas all in his first year.
We could still go to a winery and he’d just snooze in the baby carrier.
Now that we have two kids though, things have slowed down quite a bit (and I can’t take two little kids in a winery LOL).
We still love to travel by plane, but not as often because:
1. Money
2. It’s a lot more exhausting for the parent that has to do all the mental work of planning and packing for vacation (a.k.a Mom).
Don’t get me wrong. It’s still fun and joyous to travel and see my kids experiencing new destinations.
But as the saying goes:
Vacation is just taking care of your kids in a different place. 😂
Until my kids are old enough to pack their own suitcases and be unsupervised, vacation may not be quite as relaxing as it once was for a while.
So take my advice and travel with your infant!
Related posts:
- Top Tips For Traveling With A One Year Old On A Plane
- How To Plan What Your Picky Toddler Will Eat On A 3 Day Vacation
- Complete Packing List For Beach Vacation With A 2-3 Year Old (Free Printable)
Advice On Toddlers
Before you know it, you’ll be wondering where your baby went as they become a toddler.
The toddler phase is harder in some ways than the baby phase, in my opinion, because now you’ve got a little one exploring their independence and learning to deal with big emotions.
A little one who only wants the Mickey Mouse cup. Or refuses to get in the bath.
Power struggles are a thing.
And the advice that I was given to avoid many of these power tantrums in the first place is simply this:
Give them the power and attention they want.
But how do you give a toddler power without giving in to their tantrums or every desire (and thereby creating a spoiled brat)?
You give them choices throughout the day that involves choosing between two things.
For example:
“Do you want the Mickey Mouse cup or the Paw Patrol cup?”
“Do you want to have bubbles in the bath or no bubbles?”
Because it’s not a matter of whether bath is happening…it’s happening. Only now you’re making them feel like they’re in control.
Giving choices throughout the day has worked wonders for my kids.
Of course, there will be tantrums that are unavoidable.
But anything to avoid a tantrum in the first place is worth a try!
Advice On Household Chores
This next piece of advice, I read somewhere years before I even had kids, and now I’m always reminding myself of it:
When your child is asleep during the day, try your best not to spend that time cleaning or doing chores.
That’s YOUR time.
I know this can be difficult on days when there’s so much to do. I’m constantly reminding myself this as I throw in a quick load of laundry or wash a few dishes.
But, it might be the only break you get during the day to do something for yourself.
And the more children you have, the harder getting a break becomes.
I’m not saying let your house go (although, no judgement here) 😂
Just, clean and do chores when your kid is awake.
When you do these things throughout the day when your child is around, they will also learn to imitate you.
If you want them to have clean habits of their own, you should be modeling this behavior in your daily life.
So don’t save up all the dishes to do while they are in bed. That’s your time.
Related post:
Advice For New Mom On Screen Time
We’ve all heard the studies that are out there about screen time for children.
Are they true? I believe it.
I’ve witnessed the negative effects that screens are having on young children around me.
Don’t get me wrong, I love me some screen time for my kids.
I honestly don’t know how mother’s stayed sane before tv was invented 😂.
But that being said, babies do not need to be holding our phones. Toddlers do not need to be holding our phones.
They don’t need screens. They need books.
My first kiddo didn’t even see the TV on in our house until 18 months. And when he started watching at this age, it was limited to 15 minutes twice a day.
Second kiddo. A little bit different story. 😂
But I did my best to keep him away from screens when his brother was watching until he also was closer to 18 months.
I definitely think it was beneficial.
They both have great attention spans for small children.
Now that my eldest son is getting ready for Kindergarten, the teachers I’m meeting with are talking about how much Kindergarten has changed in the last 30 years.
A lot more children are coming in with language delays and not able to self-regulate or control their emotions. And they’re blaming screens.
So yes, I’m glad that I listened to the advice of parents before me to keep screens limited and wait until closer to age 2 to even introduce them.
But I’m also super thankful for them because sometimes we mamas just need to rest or get stuff done.
It’s a balance.
If you also plan to limit screen time, here are some general guidelines based on age. 👇
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Advice On Reading
Ok, maybe this one sounds obvious. Everyone knows you’re supposed to read to your children. But I mean, really read a lot. AND start early.
Ten years ago when I was a part-time nanny to a 20 month old boy, the mother told me that she and her husband read a lot to him and asked me to do the same. So I did.
I was amazed at the vocabulary he had at age 2 (far beyond his peers). And how articulate and clearly he spoke at age 3.
I took that experience and applied it with my own children.
I started reading to my babies at 5 months old when we implemented a bedtime routine.
Both of my boys began speaking in sentences by 24 months and 25 months, respectively.
And it’s a wonderful thing when your small child can communicate their needs.
I know their language skills and ability to express themselves well are from all the reading we do (along with conversations we have).
It is never too early (or late) to start!
Advice On Potty Training
If you’ve got a new baby, potty training is no where on your radar. But I do think some foresight and advice on this one isn’t a bad idea.
Here’s why:
I have known a lot of kids who were still pooping in their diaper at age 4.
This is a thing. And it’s happening a lot these days.
I know potty training takes commitment and a lot of patience, but changing a 4 year old’s poo is not cool.
No parent wants to do that. And it’s not their fault.
Nowadays, kids are so comfy in their pull-ups that they don’t have any reason to want to ditch them (unlike the cloth diapers of my day).
When I was nannying for different families, I saw a lot of this delayed potty training. But I also experienced the method that worked best:
Potty training without diapers.
I knew I wanted to do this Oh Crap Potty Training method with my future kids. And now I have successfully potty trained both of my boys this way at age 2.
No pull-ups (except for naps and night time at first, of course).
I’ve saved a lot of money on diapers, and I’m happy to say that they trained quickly and without bribes.
Plus, I’ll never have to change a 4 year old poo.
If you find yourself wanting to do the same method, you can read about how I did it in this post here.
Conclusion
This concludes the best advice I’ve ever received (at least so far). I hope you found something helpful.
The great thing about being a mom though is that there’s really no one right way to do it.
And you’ll find that you’ll have your own way of doing things that’s different from other moms.
It’s all about what’s right for you and your little one.
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